RIP: "I can't see you? Where'd you go?" Eulogy for a dead joke.
From time to time I see the need to put certain jokes to sleep. (And I mean put to sleep like a dog, blamo!) These jokes have become so trite and meaningless that they have long sense stopped being funny and are now more in cataegory of "Unoriginal Mandaitory Humorous-like Comment."
Today's funeral is for the comment: "Where'd you go? I can't see you?" and other variations on this theme. If you haven't guess the scenerio in which this appears to be a mandatory comment let me enlighten you:
Someone is wearing a Camoflague shirt... you see them... and your lips move independent of your brain, "Hey, YOU'RE INVISIBLE TOM! HYUK HYUK!" This has long since gone past being funny, why? Everyone in the western hemisphere has said this joke ten times, and each time there is a brief moment where you believe you are the first person to have this idea.
You have to lay aside that wearing camo-clothing is tacky and pointless in and of itself. That is not the issue. The issue is this joke must be allowed to die.
Other variation, upon seeing someone in camo:
"Hey, look you're invisible"
"Where's Tom? Anyone seen Tom? Glad he's not here he smells."
"Hey look! It's Tom's floating head! Where's you body Tom?"
"It ain't workin' I can see you TOM!"
But like the Bible story where a man cleans out his house only to have 7 other demons return when they find it empty, you must replace the negative with a positive. If you leave that void empty the bad jokes will only come back.
So here are a few alternative jokes to say when you see Tom and camo shirt:
"Don't they make 'Office Camo'? With little files and computer bits on them."
"I can't see the Tom for the Trees."
"Hey everyone look at Tom his pants don't match his shirt!"
"Tom, nice shirt." - This is only funny, if the nonverbals are correct
Or pick up a cup of water and try to water Tom.
Grab an AX and chop off Tom's legs... yell, "Timber!"
Labels: Retired Jokes